As a college senior, I have had my fair share of emotions—some wanted, and more unwanted. I have had ups and downs, and inside outs, but I’ve never been the type of person to want to find my true love in college. I just never had the urge—it seemed pointless (and still does kind of, if I’m being honest).
I’ve always thought of college as a place to go to class, join lots of clubs, have fun with your friends on the weekends, and make the moments count. For me, those moments did not consist of having a boyfriend, breaking up, finding a new boyfriend, etc., you get where I am going (I’ve never understood people that get out relationship, only to find a new one two weeks later, like what are you doing?)
Two years ago, I wrote an article on the infamous title of the dating term, “friends with benefits.” To this day, I wrap my head around that term so crazily, that my head almost falls off trying to figure it out. I still think of the term FwB and relate it to one of my favorite movies, with of course the title Friends with Benefits—fittin
g right? Well, if you haven’t seen the movie, it stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, and they work together, sleep together, and catch real feelings for each other (without telling one another), and then they fight, and of course it ends with some crazy love scene in Grand Central Station, NY, and Justin tells Mila he DOES want to be with her forever and ever and ever. *cue throw-up emoji. Stop. The whole point of the movie was to portray FRIENDS with BENEFITS. That means SEX.
College students LOVE the idea of “staying” friend and having sex. It’s like engrained in our heads that this is the way life should be, until your mid-thirties when you are finally like, “damn, I let my whole young life pass me by, and I’m still single.”
You don’t see “Friends with Benefits” as a Facebook relationship status, do you? No, because it’s a made up thing some college frat boy made up ages ago.
Being in a ‘no strings attached’ relationship with someone has guidelines and rules. You can’t just go up to a random stranger and be like “sleep with me!”…Well maybe you can, but here is the link to get tested. STD Testing Information here.
Like I said, there needs to be guidelines for this made up relationship status. Click here for those said guidelines…Trust me, you need them.
Glamour magazine has basically god writers for anything revolving around sex, and they have 10 rules of being friends with benefits. FWB can be hard for some people, as depicted in the movie. Some people catch feelings quickly, and some are not on the same page, so it’s ok to talk to your partner about what is going on (preferably after sexy time). You are friends, you know.
Make sure you know that friends with benefits usually do stem from friendship, and if you decide to stop the whole thing, be aware that your friendship might suffer because of this. Try not to get too emotionally attached, to the point where you can never let go
If you’re in college, have fun. If you’re out of college, have fun. Just know friend with benefits is either for you or against you—you have to be the judge of that.
xxx-Meghan
Meghan Zimbler 