It goes a lot like this: You meet a guy at a bar. You totally hit it off, exchange numbers, and the rest is history. You go on to talk every day, hang out, learn about them, and their secrets. It seems nice. The normal person would think this is it– this is what I’ve been waiting for, right?
Wrong. 
As much as this seems like a relationship, you’re wrong. It has recently come to my attention, that when I talk about dating, I cringe. I stop in my tracks, and get very uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk about what seems like a relationship, because it’s totally not. That guy I’m talking to? Yea he’s cool, but he’s not my boyfriend.
That brings me to my main question: Why do millennials HATE the idea of dating?
Since, I am not a man, I can’t really speak for them. I’ve been in the “scene” for a while now, and there are a few types of guys out there. The first one, we’re going to call him Tom. Tom likes to have fun, and get crunk on the weekends. Tom likes to call the girl he is best friends with on SnapChat at 2 in the morning after a long night at the bar, just to see if she wants to sleep over. The girl of course says yes, and Tom gets what he wants– everyone is happy. Although Tom thinks about this girl everyday, he doesn’t want to take things to the next level, because he still wants to play the field. Tom is cool, we like Tom
(Well, I do at least… But I’ll get to this problem in a second.
The second type of guy here, we’ll call him John. John so desperately likes a girl, and because of this, he puts time in. He pursues, and asks her to hang out. John asks the girl he likes on dates, and holds her hand in public. John wants the world to know THIS GIRL IS HIS. Most girls would fall for John in a second, but that’s what he wants. He loves relationships, he loves love. Why are there so many Johns in the world, and so many girls that don’t want him? John wants commitment, but the girl doesn’t.
Here are two very different types of men, but from experience, most girls want the Tom. They want the man that is too cool for school, will string them along until things plateau. WHY?
Tom makes the hook-up culture appealing, he makes things new and fresh each time you see him. Things get boring with John– it’s almost routine. Millennials don’t want the commitment, we want new and fun.
I like relationships; I sometimes even call myself a hopeless romantic. Wanting the Tom at the moment doesn’t make me a hypocrite. It makes me yearn for the John eventually, and I am constantly thinking of a man who can combine both personalities.
Being in college, the hook-up culture is at an all time high. Sometimes starting that relationship is just at bad timing, and that’s OK. Just because others want/need that relationship lifestyle, does not mean you need to hop along the bandwagon.
Why do we cringe at the thought of relationships? Because we cringe at commitment.
Why do we cringe at defining a relationship? Because defining means commitment, as I have already stated, we don’t like that.
Meghan Zimbler 