Why Do Millennials Hate “Dating”?

It goes a lot like this: You meet a guy at a bar. You totally hit it off, exchange numbers, and the rest is history. You go on to talk every day, hang out, learn about them, and their secrets. It seems nice. The normal person would think this is it– this is what I’ve been waiting for, right?

Wrong. 

As much as this seems like a relationship, you’re wrong. It has recently come to my attention, that when I talk about dating, I cringe. I stop in my tracks, and get very uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk about what seems like a relationship, because it’s totally not. That guy I’m talking to? Yea he’s cool, but he’s not my boyfriend.

That brings me to my main question: Why do millennials HATE the idea of dating?

Since, I am not a man, I can’t really speak for them. I’ve been in the “scene” for a while now, and there are a few types of guys out there. The first one, we’re going to call him Tom. Tom likes to have fun, and get crunk on the weekends. Tom likes to call the girl he is best friends with on SnapChat at 2 in the morning after a long night at the bar, just to see if she wants to sleep over. The girl of course says yes, and Tom gets what he wants– everyone is happy. Although Tom thinks about this girl everyday, he doesn’t want to take things to the next level, because he still wants to play the field. Tom is cool, we like Tom (Well, I do at least… But I’ll get to this problem in a second.

The second type of guy here, we’ll call him John. John so desperately likes a girl, and because of this, he puts time in. He pursues, and asks her to hang out. John asks the girl he likes on dates, and holds her hand in public. John wants the world to know THIS GIRL IS HIS. Most girls would fall for John in a second, but that’s what he wants. He loves relationships, he loves love. Why are there so many Johns in the world, and so many girls that don’t want him? John wants commitment, but the girl doesn’t.

Here are two very different types of men, but from experience, most girls want the Tom. They want the man that is too cool for school, will string them along until things plateau. WHY?

Tom makes the hook-up culture appealing, he makes things new and fresh each time you see him. Things get boring with John– it’s almost routine. Millennials don’t want the commitment, we want new and fun.

I like relationships; I sometimes even call myself a hopeless romantic. Wanting the Tom at the moment doesn’t make me a hypocrite. It makes me yearn for the John eventually, and I am constantly thinking of a man who can combine both personalities.

Being in college, the hook-up culture is at an all time high. Sometimes starting that relationship is just at bad timing, and that’s OK. Just because others want/need that relationship lifestyle, does not mean you need to hop along the bandwagon.

Why do we cringe at the thought of relationships? Because we cringe at commitment.

Why do we cringe at defining a relationship? Because defining means commitment, as I have already stated, we don’t like that.

 

 

Friends with Benefits-The Human Jungle

As a college senior, I have had my fair share of emotions—some wanted, and more unwanted. I have had ups and downs, and inside outs, but I’ve never been the type of person to want to find my true love in college. I just never had the urge—it seemed pointless (and still does kind of, if I’m being honest).

I’ve always thought of college as a place to go to class, join lots of clubs, have fun with your friends on the weekends, and make the moments count. For me, those moments did not consist of having a boyfriend, breaking up, finding a new boyfriend, etc., you get where I am going (I’ve never understood people that get out relationship, only to find a new one two weeks later, like what are you doing?)

Two years ago, I wrote an article on the infamous title of the dating term, “friends with benefits.” To this day, I wrap my head around that term so crazily, that my head almost falls off trying to figure it out. I still think of the term FwB and relate it to one of my favorite movies, with of course the title Friends with Benefits—fitting right? Well, if you haven’t seen the movie, it stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, and they work together, sleep together, and catch real feelings for each other (without telling one another), and then they fight, and of course it ends with some crazy love scene in Grand Central Station, NY, and Justin tells Mila he DOES want to be with her forever and ever and ever. *cue throw-up emoji. Stop. The whole point of the movie was to portray FRIENDS with BENEFITS. That means SEX.

College students LOVE the idea of “staying” friend and having sex. It’s like engrained in our heads that this is the way life should be, until your mid-thirties when you are finally like, “damn, I let my whole young life pass me by, and I’m still single.”

You don’t see “Friends with Benefits” as a Facebook relationship status, do you? No, because it’s a made up thing some college frat boy made up ages ago.

Being in a ‘no strings attached’ relationship with someone has guidelines and rules. You can’t just go up to a random stranger and be like “sleep with me!”…Well maybe you can, but here is the link to get tested. STD Testing Information here.

Like I said, there needs to be guidelines for this made up relationship status. Click here for those said guidelines…Trust me, you need them.

Glamour magazine has basically god writers for anything revolving around sex, and they have 10 rules of being friends with benefits. FWB can be hard for some people, as depicted in the movie. Some people catch feelings quickly, and some are not on the same page, so it’s ok to talk to your partner about what is going on (preferably after sexy time). You are friends, you know.

Make sure you know that friends with benefits usually do stem from friendship, and if you decide to stop the whole thing, be aware that your friendship might suffer because of this. Try not to get too emotionally attached, to the point where you can never let go

If you’re in college, have fun. If you’re out of college, have fun. Just know friend with benefits is either for you or against you—you have to be the judge of that.

xxx-Meghan

Top 10 Items From Trader Joe’s I CAN’T Live Without

 

I don’t know about the average person, but I LOVE Trader Joe’s. I go through withdrawals when I can’t go at least once a week, and miss the products I get from there. Sure, I could just go to a normal grocery store, but it’s just not the same. I LOVE THIS STORE. You walk in, usually to a beautiful array of flowers, some plants that you can keep in your home, and some that you can give to someone else. They look so tempting, I even buy myself some at times (and I have no shame). When you look around this marvelous store, you see employees like no other—they are smiling, loving their jobs, and wearing these fun Hawaiian t-shirts that just make you feel good. Trader Joe’s has no internal loud speaker, because the stores are so quaint and cute, they just need bells, and high-pitched yelling. It’s not just a grocery store, it’s an experience. I make my friends, and roommates come with me, because it’s more fun, but leave me in Trader Joe’s by myself, and I will be walking out with the entire place.

It’s a place for everyone, health-food nuts, vegetarians (like myself), vegans, or even the average eater who loves meat and cheese AND since they don’t put things on sale, or do “deals of the week” like regular grocery stores, they always have LOW PRICES. You seriously cannot go wrong.

For all you friends, and readers that don’t know about the store—I’m going to give you a little bit of a head start on some of the products I cannot live without.

1. Cookie Butter- Preferably Chocolate Swirl Cookie Butter:

I SWEAR BY THIS PRODUCT. I worship this product. When I was first introduced to Cookie Butter, I automatically lived a different life. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I knew I needed it always. It covers everything you need in a diet: crunchy, smooth, creamy, and crunchy, sweet and even a little bit salty. The chocolate swirl adds all of that, times 100 of flavor. I eat this by itself, with pretzels, or graham crackers. But like I said, I eat it by itself, with a spoon, out of the jar, like its pudding.

2. Goddess Dressing

The name says it all. You may think your favorite salad dressing is Ranch, because I know, everyone likes Ranch, but wait until you try Goddess. *que the angels*.Everything about this dressing makes salad worth eating—you just need to try it yourself.

3. Pumpkin Pancake/ Waffle Mix

You don’t need fall to love and eat pumpkin all year round. Trader Joes Pumpkin Pancake/ Waffle mix is everything good in the world and more. When they have it, I stock up ( I mean I am basic and love pumpkin everything) but this is amazing. It taste nutty, and has cinnamon flavor, and for years, I have been TRYING to make a single serving of this, but I end up making about 14 pancakes, and eating most of them. Add some chocolate chips, and it’s basically dessert for breakfast.

4. Reduced Guilt Spinach & Kale Greek Yogurt Dip

Reduced guilt…Say no more. One of my favorite foods is spinach dip. My dad has been making a wonderful cold dip since I can remember, and I ask him to make doubles so I can sneak the snack late at night, and the next day. THIS DIP IS EVERYTHING. I pair this wonderful, creamy, tasty dip, with Trader Joes Multigrain Pita Bite, and I have to say, I have to force myself to stop snacking (I take Reduced Guilt literally). This dip is oozing with spinach and kale, and has chucks of water chestnuts and other fun chopped up veggies. I can eat this every day…Trader Joes, want to give me a life-time supply?

5. Five Layer Fiesta Dip

GIVE ME THE 5 LAYERS. Oh my god, I can’t get enough of this dip ( Can you tell I LOVE dips or…) I am constantly begging my step-mom to buy this dip when I am home, and if she says no, I basically try to sneak it in the cart. I do like making my own layered dip, but this is just so yummy. So much flavor, in such a tiny container. The taste of cilantro, and salsa, and the mix of beans and sour cream makes my taste buds tingle, because I just love this food. Try it- you won’t regret it.

6. Garden Vegetable Frozen Lasagna

If you think you’re Italian grandmothers lasagna is good, I’m sure it is, but THIS is something for all lovers of pasta. I am so skeptical of frozen dinners, that some even make me sick. Like literally sick. I think of frozen dinners, on sale at Walmart, heating them up, and it being a pile of mush. No thank you. Luckily with Trader Joes, my faith in humanity has been restored with frozen meals. I have found so many I adore, but the Garden Vegetable Frozen Lasagna is my absolute favorite. And it takes about 5 minutes to heat up, therefore if you have a busy schedule like me, you never have to worry!

7. Orange Peach Mango Juice

If you’re a lover of all things juice (a.k.a) me, you will absolutely LOVE this juice. Talk about the best combination of flavors, OPM has it all. Big secret: I sometimes drink it straight out of the carton, how bad-ass am I? This juice is seriously good at any time of the day, breakfast (with Champagne, of course), lunch, dinner, and dessert. Now, Tropicana has a mimic version of Orange Peach Mango, but no offense, your oranges are just NOT as good. You need this drink in your life, I swear.

8. Tea Tree Triangle Body Wash

If you are looking to smell good, while eating all these delicious foods, you NEED Tea Tree Triangle Body Wash in your life. It smells like peppermints, even though it’s not supposed to ( I don’t know if that if really true, but uh, yes anyways) It even has eucalyptus in it, so stress-free body wash… Hello??? It’s the best. I feel refreshed after the shower, and love every second of it. They make the Tree Triangle in Shampoo and Conditioner, and hand cream. This stuff if the real deal.

9. Salted Caramel Chai Tea Latte (Mix)

If heaven could talk, it would be talking about this product. Only found a few times of the year, the Salted Caramel Chai Tea Latte mix is the best darn drink I have ever tasted, ever. Oh my god, I could talk about this one all day, and I STOCK UP when I see it on shelves. TJ’s has a lot of other great chai products but this one beats them all. I love making this drink. Even in the summer, I will make a hot SCCTL, with whipped cream and just love life. You know when you watch a movie, and the main character is all huddled up reading a book, with a nice cup of something…THIS IS IT. This is the drinks of the stars (Totally made that up too, but man it should be famous.) Be on the lookout the next time you head to Trader Joes, and stock. up.

10. Cowboy Bark

Yee-haw cowboy! Trader Joes is known for making good chocolate barks. This one though, is exceptional to all the rest. Cowboy Bark is thin pieces of dark chocolate, with toffee, pretzels, Joe Joe Cookies (something like an Oreo), peanuts, almonds, and a sprinkling of salt. So. Damn. Good. I try to limit myself to one piece (every hour, until the bag is gone), but I swear this stuff does not last long in my sight. It is the PERFECT combination of sweet, salty, and crunchy. The perfect snack for everything. Someone could tell me I’m the ugliest human being on the planet, but if I am eating Cowboy Bark, I will not care. I will be gnawing away on my Cowboy Bark

 

I hope this makes you want to go to Trader Joes almost as much as I love being there. It is seriously the best place in the WHOLE WORLD. Below is depicted just how happy I would be if I was Joseph Gordan-Levitt walking into Trader Joes.***

 

xxx-Meghan

Single on Valentine’s Day? No Problem

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, you might think it is the worst thing in the world, right? You think about all your friends who have significant others, and listen to them brag about the dinner plans they have, or the night they have planned. It might suck, but trust me, it is not that bad—You will get through it, like I have.

I’m weird. I am single, and I still love Valentine’s Day for the most part. I mostly love the color pink, and I looove chocolate. I love, love too. I don’t think all single people need to mope around about the woes of being single—like stop and be happy please. It is supposed to celebrate all types of love.

Now if you are newly single, or have been single, you might want some things to do on the day that Cupid stabs everyone with those damn arrows. Here are some ideas:

 

1. Wine Night – Was the absence of wine even a question? It shouldn’t have been. Wine is essential to being single on Valentine’s Day. Get all the single la
   dies out and drink that Cab Sauv, or Rose. You deserve it—all of you!
2. Treat yourself to a Spa Day– Have you ever gotten a massage or facial? Well screw the ‘Couples Massage’ and get yourself an appointment at your nearest spa. Alone time isn’t always great if you are newly single, but trust me, you’ll forget about most of your Valentine’s Day blues. Just recently, I got my first massage ever at Massage Envy, and let me tell you, it was heaven! Make yourself feel special and get pampered.

If you can’t afford a Spa Day, go out to a store like Walmart or Target and get          yourself a ‘do it at home’ face mask, whip out your favorite nail polish, and get to pampering. Face masks go for under $5.00 and my favorite is Freeman Feeling Beautiful Avocado & Oatmeal Facial Clay Mask—I go through at least 4 tubes a year.

3. Girls Night In– This can go along with number 1, or you can set up a night with your girls and watch cheesy movies. Let’s face it; you’ll probably need wine anyways Get into your coziest sweater and sweats, break out the Ben and Jerry’s and popcorn, and turn on your fav movie. I may be too cheesy because I actually LOVE watching the movie Valentines Day  on the day of love. Kick back, relax, and stay in—face it, you need Chocolate Therapy ice cream in your life.
4. Do Something Drastic – I mean it. It could be anything, being drastic is different for everyone. Dye your hair, get a piercing, or go on an adventure across town (or to a different state…Valentines Day is on a weekend this year). Whatever it is, make it give you that natural high—trust me it’ll be worth it.
5. Buy ALL the 50% off Chocolate the Day After- OH MY GOSH. The year I realized this tradition was a thing was the best year of my life. The day after Valentines Day, every drug store will put the Valentine’s Day candy on sale for 50% off. That means all the chocolate you can possibly imagine for an extremely low price. I go hard on 50% off, and I have no shame. Maybe we can start getting liquor stores to start doing this too…

Well people, there you have it. If you’re feeling down about being single, or just downright hate Valentine’s Day, turn it into something more fun than sulking around or crying your eyes out to The Notebook. Trust me, your true love is out there, but for now your true love is Sunset Blush Franzia and that is OK.

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers!

xxx- Meghan